-- seven.

mood: Uncertain.
listening to: Nothing.
reading: Guardians of Ga'Hoole: The Capture - Kathryn Lasky
watching: Nothing
playing: Nothing
eating: Nothing
drinking: Coke (through a straw, of course).

- - - - - >

I'm beginning to wonder where my baby went.

Too much change took place.
Is that my fault, or yours?

It doesn't feel the same, talking to you anymore.
It's almost like you were never there to begin with...

Except the memories.
They're there.
You're in them.
But I wish you were here, too...

--six.

mood: Very mellow and tired.
listening to: "No Air" - Chris Brown and Jordin Sparks
reading: Guardians of Ga'Hoole: The Capture - Kathryn Lasky
watching: Nothing
playing: Nothing.
eating: I'm thinking of getting something I can actually eat...
drinking: Coke (through a straw, of course).

- - - - - >

◊ one;

Argh.
I must have a serious case of OCD or something. I keep changing the way this thing looks.
Sorry about that. I can't promise it won't happen again, but I am pretty satisfied with the way it looks now, so it'll probably stay like this for a while.
I'm too tired to continue changing it anymore, anyhow.

For now, in terms of the layout, I am content.

- - - - - >

◊ two;

Since, apparently, there is no "February 29th," Tai and I are celebrating our year-and-a-half on the 28th—which is tomorrow.

I can't believe it's already been a year-and-a-half with that boy...
It feels as though we were celebrating our half-a-year yesterday (and I can remember that night very clearly), and yet it also feels so far away...
Time works too strangely for me to figure out, I guess.

あいしてる, TAIRA.
(I love you, Tyler.)
♥

- - - - - >

◊ three;

This place went from below-freezing to late-spring temperatures in a matter of twenty-four hours. For the past two days, it's been warm, sticky, and humid, to the point where it's been difficult to breathe the outside air.

Honestly, I'm not eager for spring or summer. Not here, anyway. Here, warm weather = humidity and unwanted bugs/animals.
Humidity = suffocating moisture in the air and constantly curly/frizzy hair, no matter how many times a day I straighten it or how much anti-frizz stuff I use on it.
Bugs = Constant uneasiness and pumped levels of paranoia.

Summed up, to me, Texas summers mean:
-Spiders, ranging from house to jumping to wolf to black widow.
-Giant ants with wings... and I thought the little kitchen/bathroom ants in Vegas were bad.
-Snakes. We shot two this past summer, after we got here, in our yard.
-Long days and long nights alone, which means more time to wait for this whole Texas bit to speed up.
-Boredom, and even more intense than last summer if my art inspiration doesn't kick back in.

This is not stuff I enjoy living around/in. I am a city person, for crying out loud.
I want to go back home so bad.

Anyway, because spring is quickly approaching, I've been thinking more and more lately about cutting my hair, because the humidity messing with it irritates me thoroughly anymore.
I'm still not entirely sure, though... I really want to grow it out, to see how it looks after cutting it so short nearly a year ago, but I can't stand what the humidity does to it every day, and it's getting harder for me to keep clean for twenty-four hours anymore.
I'm also afraid to cut it because... every time I cut my hair, I feel as though I'm getting rid of something that became a part of me. I don't know exactly what's up with that.

So... I dunno. I'll have to think on it some more, I guess.

- - - - - >

◊ four;

I got some more songs downloaded tonight, mostly material from the mid-/late 80s or early nineties. Stuff I heard on the radio a lot in Vegas. Stuff I grew up on and still love to listen to from time to time.

Except Michael Jackson. I never listened to him as a child, I don't think, but "Thriller" and "Beat It" are too amazing to pass up.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say my childhood songs help to calm me down.

- - - - - >

◊ five;

I thought I would share some funny situations from this week with you guys, if you're at all interested.

Orthodontist: Well, we'll have eighteen months to get to know each other better, hmm? :]
Me: Heh, yeah... Should we start calling our appointments dates, because you're gonna be getting up close and personal with me for that amount of time. |3;
Orthodontist: *bursts into giggles* You're so funny. C:
Tech: Stop hitting on my wife. < <
Me: Don't worry, you two are cuter together.
Orthodontist: LOL.

Mr. R: If you were to side with someone during World War II, which country would you pick?
Chris and I: GERMANY!
Amy and Collin: RUSSIA!
Other students: ... Uh-oh. -snickering and giggling and whispering about the conflict and whatnot-
Chris and I: *look at each other slowly and grin*
Collin: We'd totally kick their ass.
Mr. R: Haha, would you?
Me: No, he most certainly would not. *stands up and looms over Amy*
Amy: *stands up as well, mere inches from my face* Oh? What makes you think that, [some sort of insult in Russian]?
Me: Not only are we more aristocratic and better-looking, but we're smarter, too.
Collin: OH, PSH!
Chris: *waves his hand nonchalantly at Collin* Srsly, garlfrand.
Collin: ARE YOU CALLING ME GAY?
Me: It wouldn't surprise me, you filthy little Russian. *snickers*
Amy: Now you're calling us homosexuals?
Me: No, I called you filthy. And stupid. Maybe I should think you're deaf, too?
Collin: Prove that you're smarter.
Me: Ever heard of German engineering?
Chris: OWNED.
Collin: Oh, please, we brought you the AK47.
Me: Oh, this argument again?
Chris: We brought out Tiger tanks! And you don't want to get caught in the range of one of those motherfuckers.
Amy: ... Uh...
Me: I see you don't know what that is. Shall I consider that another loss for the Soviet Union?
Amy: < <;
Me: HA! DOUBLE-OWNED, PROVED MY POINT, IN YOUR FACE! Told you we're smarter.
Chris: Better, overall.
Me: I concur.
Collin: IT'S A TANK, AMY!
Amy: I'M SORRY.
Chris and I: *high five* Alriiiight. ||D

Mr. T: Alright, now, this is a be*ruffles through a box for something*er.
Tomas: O O WHAT?
Laura and I: LOL.
Tomas: DID YOU JUST SAY BEANER?
Mr. T: I said beamer. *holds one up*
Tomas: OH! OKAY, GOT IT.
Me: Way to go, Tomas.
Tomas: I thought he said beaner, I was gonna be like, "Whoa, really?! My uncle lives in a box! ;D"
Laura: *falls out of her chair laughing*
Tomas: ... You scare me, dude. xD
Me: That's nothing. Watch this. *leans over Laura* ... Pudding.
Laura: *turns red and laughs harder*
Me: :D
Tomas: ... *slowly turns around with a weirded out look on his face*
Me: YOU DON'T KNOW US.
Tomas: I know enough. < <;

Me: Tomas, get your foot off my chair.
Tomas: Make me, white girl. *kicks it*
Me: *pushes his leg away* OFF, MEXICAN!
Tomas: HEY! *bangs his fist on the desk and gets in close, snarling through his teeth* Shut up.
Me: LOL. /fails at keeping a straight face
Mr. T: Ahahaha... You two are gonna get marriiieeed~
Laura, Tomas, and I: UGH! O.e NO!
Me: Dude, c'mon, Tomas is like my brother. That would be so weird and so wrong, beyond belief.
Laura: And she's taken anyway by that Tyler guy!
Me: ... *drifts off into girly lala land*
Tomas: Dude, just ew...
Me: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!
Tomas: It means disgusting, or d'you not know words? |D
Me: I'll kick your ass!
Tomas: YOU CAN'T EVEN PUSH ME OFF MY FEET WITHOUT FALLING BACKWARDS, HAHAHA.
Me: < <;
Laura: ... He does have a point.
Me: THEN YOU DO IT FOR ME! ._. It's not my fault I'm scrawny and weak...
Tomas: And pathetic.
Me: ... > >
Laura: ... *kicks him*
Tomas: OW. D: *pretends to sob*
Laura: *once more falls into one of her uncontrollable giggling fits*
Me: *looms over Tomas* I THOUGHT WE HAD A RULE, [insert his last name here]! YOU AREN'T ALLOWED TO CRY, EVER!
Tomas: I-I'M... SORRY...! Dx

Me: Coooaach? Can I have a piece of butterscotch? C:
Mr. T: > >; *starts to walk out of the room*
Me: ... Coach? I asked you if I—
Mr. T: No, I heard you. I was just... ignoring you. :D;
Me: What, why? D: That's mean.
Mr. T: 'Cause I don't want to answer you... y'know, say no.
Me: ... Haha, just say no. I'll live.
Mr. T: Yeah, I could, but...
Me: Just say no. >:C
Mr. T: ... Not this time. < <;
Me: ... *facepalm* Y'know, for an Army veteran, you aren't very assertive.
Mr. T: I'm just nicer when I don't have the gun in my hand.
Me: I'll bet. > >
Mr. T: You can't have butterscotch anyway. You're wearing braces now.
Me: NO I'M NOT I FORBID YOU TO SPEAK OF THEM! *hides my face in my hands*

Kylee: ... Over two million Jews? Dude, Germans are so weird!
Chris, Dollie, and I: *slowly glare at her*
Kylee: Uh, what?
Chris, Dollie, and I: We're German.
Kylee: ... Oh. < <; Uhh... I was kidding?
Chris: Italians are even weirder.
Kylee: ... Hey, I'm Italian!
Chris: That was the point, dude.

- - - - - >

◊ six;

I think I'm beginning to get used to the braces now. They're still really uncomfortable, though... :/
They don't hurt as much as they did before, which surprises me. I thought they were supposed to be excruciating for the first week or so. Maybe the pain factor depends on the person's teeth.

The one thing I'm not yet getting used to is the insane amount of work it takes to keep my teeth clean in spite of said braces.
Brush my teeth three or four times day—basically, after each time I eat something (which isn't much anymore).
Inhale Scope at least once a day.
Floss at night. (That has become a bigger pain in the ass than it ever was before, now that I've got these things on. It's gotten harder.)
WaterPik at least twice a day (which I haven't been doing since I got braces, but I'm working on it, really; I just don't like that thing because I'm lazy).

You would think my teeth suddenly became celebrities, considering all the work they need done to them for the next year-and-a-half.
Maybe getting my wisdom teeth extracted will be like putting them in jail for doing drugs, like most celebrities do anymore.
... Lol, what, Shelby?

- - - - - >

◊ seven;

Stole this from Menna.

1. [x] You like to be content in everything.
2. [/] When a person confesses his/her love to you and you don't like him/her, you start feeling very tense and/or you don't know what to say.
3. [x] You enjoy listening to smooth and relaxing music.
4. [/] You are quite hyperactive.
5. [/] If you don't like something, you start crying and/or you don't care if you start talking too loud.
6. [x] You love candies or any type of caramel.
7. [x] You like making others blush.
8. [x] You sleep with a doll/teddy bear/pillow in your hand.
9. [ ] You're usually shy with the opposite sex. (I speak some of their language. Why would I be?)
10. [/] You like romantic-funny anime.
11. [ ] Between L or Light cosplay, you prefer L.
12. [x] You have listened to AnCafe.
13. [x] You LIKE listening to AnCafe.
14. [x] You have one or two songs on your computer by AnCafe.
15. [/] You are innocent and a little clumsy. (I'm pretty clumsy.)
16. [/] You smile at kitties.
17. [ ] You usually say "kawaii".
18. [x] You like plushies.
19. [x] Between light blue and blue, you prefer light blue.
20. [x] You hate Paris Hilton because she is an idiot.
21. [x] You have gotten lost in a shopping center/parking lot/cinema.
22. [x] You have called to the mistaken number twice or more.
23. [ ] You cried at the end of Pocahontas.
24. [x] You have a very feminine dress or shirt.
25. [x] You call your pets with cute names.
26. [ ] You believe that yaoi/yuri is the best.
27. [ ] You're easy to trick/convince.
28. [ ] Men scare you. (That's a laugh.)
29. [ ] You have seen Pucca and you like it.
30. [ ] You have pink/red clothes and/or they are decorated with flowers.
31. [x] Sometimes you start looking at the clouds and you end up getting lost in space.
32. [x] You've said "kyao", or something like that, before.
33. [ ] When someone of your same sex gets angry with you, you're at the defensive.
34. [x] You like J-pop.
35. [ ] You have cried over more than one movie/TV series.
36. [ ] You felt like Shuichi when you watched gravitation, and you felt like Nagisa when you watched Strawberry Panic.
37. [ ] You smile for no reason.
38. [ ] You are usually very positive. (...)
39. [ ] When there's a rainbow, you run out to see it. (I've found they aren't that amazing.)
40. [/] You usually don't understand what your parents say.

Over 20 = Uke (Submissive)
Less than 20 = Semme (Dominant)

...
I got 21.5

I'm not that far above Dominant, hm?
(I actually would've thought having over twenty would make you dominant, not submissive.)

- - - - - >

--five.

mood: Mellow. Lonely.
listening to: The class.
reading: Wikipedia~
watching: Nothing.
playing: Nothing.
eating: Nothing.
drinking: Nothing.

- - - - - >

I found a way to bypass the network restrictions at school.
I guess that's exciting.

Anyhoo, for a Friday, school sure has been boring so far. I'm in geography right now, but nothing exciting has happened yet. :/ It seems like just another work day, I guess.

I just thought I'd say hi.

I'll probably update again later.

Chiao.

-- four.

mood: Aching. A little depressed (not a lot, but enough). A little scared.
listening to: Nothing.
reading: Guardians of Ga'Hoole: The Capture - Kathryn Lasky
watching: Nothing
playing: Nothing
eating: Nothing
drinking: Dr. Pepper

- - - - - >

◊ one;

Last night, when I brushed my teeth, one of the bands came off my braces.
We went after school today and got it fixed, though. So it's okay.

They hurt so bad.

- - - - - >

◊ two;

Some things are better left buried and SUFFOCATED WITHIN THE EARTH.
God.
Not in the mood for this...

- - - - - >

-- three.

mood: A little grumpy. Tired. A bit lonely.
listening to: Nothing.
reading: Guardians of Ga'Hoole: The Capture - Kathryn Lasky (OWLS! :D)
watching: Yet another Presidential speech to the nation.
playing: Nothing.
eating: Ice cream.
drinking: NOTHING.

- - - - - >

◊ one;

BRACES = ; ;

Yes.
As I said, I got them today.

Of course, at first, they didn't hurt. Save for the fact that my jaws felt a bit heavier with them on, I almost forgot they were even there. Now, however, they only grow more painful.
I dread how it'll feel tomorrow, and the next day, and maybe even the day after that.

At least, when I went back to school, I only had to attend chemistry and multimedia.

Bro was fascinated. That or he was unsure of what to really think of them.
Mother was irked (at first?) that they put silver braces on me instead of clear. I, honestly, could care less, and I think I preferred silver anyway.
My chemistry teacher snickered a bit and told me to use the wax I was given. Trust her, she said, it'll help. Wax is apparently a godsend when it comes to braces.
Tomas flinched when I showed him and told me that it must hurt, and I gave him a no shit, Sherlock look.
Gwen told me to eat lots of ice cream to help diminish any pain—and she guaranteed there would be quite a bit of it in the next week.
Kacie told me that the front teeth always hurt excruciatingly in the beginning. Judging from the pain I felt today, I believe her.
My multimedia long-term substitute empathized. "I'll be honest," she said. "Braces are always the worst on the second day you have them, but, if it makes you feel any better, they're worse than that on the third day."
Yes, Mrs. J, thank you. I feel... loads better. D| Then again, I'm glad she was an adult I could get an honest opinion from. All the other adults continue to insist that they don't hurt—and how full of crap they are.

It feels unnerving to eat. Even eating ice cream, like I am now, feels odd.
It almost feels like I'm trying to relearn how to eat, if consuming food was ever a learned process and not a natural one.
Even eating ice cream hurts, damn...
I WILL PUNT YOU IF YOU LIED TO ME, GWEN.
Agh.

I can't wait until they come off. Already, I can't wait.
... You know, in, like, a year-and-a-half.

- - - - - >

◊ two;

Lately, I've begun to wonder if Obama was actually the right choice for America.
(I'd rather my generation not be in debt for the rest of our lives. Thanks, homey G fuckin' dawg.)
Were we wrong to vote for him? (I know most African Americans in this country were wrong to vote for him simply because he is black.)

No, I haven't gone Republican. Hell, I was never even a Democrat.
I'm an Independent. (Maybe I'm not even that. I don't like politics, and most of the time I do my best to stay out of such affairs.)
Maybe my heart is telling me that we need an Independent President. Both parties of the U.S. government are corrupt, and neither one can satisfy all the people here... Maybe I'm waiting for someone who will take care of everything instead of just one set of goals, like the current parties do.

My future is at stake, damn it. I do actually care about that.
All the U.S. government has done lately is spent away money for bills I've never even imagined, even though spending money like that is part of what got us into this recession in the first place.
Wonderful "stimulus plan", guys. I applaud you for your ass-in-chair efforts.

I thought of an amusing, snappy letter to write to those idiots up there, mostly to make myself feel better.

Dear Congress,

Quite honestly, you're killing us.
You're killing me.
You're killing my generation, along with any chance we have left to a happy, less complicated future.

Why don't you count all the money in the world—in the entire world—and realize that we do not have that kind of money? America owes more money to other countries than anyone in the world actually has. We are in debt as an entire country, for the love of God (Does he sound familiar to you? I'm pretty sure you've complained to atheists that this country was built on the foundation of Christianity). DO SOMETHING SMART ABOUT IT FOR ONCE.

Thanks a lot for fucking up my future, tightwads.
I had a lot of faith in you newer members, after everything good I heard, but I suppose you had planned all along to turn around and bite me right in the ass when I offered my hand out to you for once.

Until I start hearing some good and promising progress from you guys down in D.C., you won't catch me watching you guys on TV anymore. All I ever hear on it is the same speech or the same load of crap or the same arguments about affairs that aren't even relevant when it comes to our economy (like that woman that had octuplets; who gives a shit, for crying out loud? Let her be a corrupt little bitch, for all I care).
I'd suggest you start using your heads correctly, the right way. TV's pretty popular and I hear they take you off the air the lower the rates are.
Ha.

Get bent,
Piss off,
See you in hell,
etc.

-Some stubborn but intelligent high school student that never liked you in the first place.

That'd be nice, but I doubt they'd give a shit, right?
Right. So I just keep it to myself.

I hate our government. I hate what they're doing.
It's so tiring anymore.

- - - - - >

-- two.

mood: Content.
listening to: "Don't Stop" - InnerPartySystem
reading: Nothing.
watching: Nothing.
playing: Nothing.
eating: Nothing
drinking: Monster.

- - - - - >

◊ one;



The road I walk is paved in gold
To glorify my platinum soul.
I'll buy my way to talk to God
So he can live with what I'm not.

The selfish blood runs through my veins.
I gave up everything for fame.
I am the lie that you adore:
I feed the rich and fuck the poor.

I got, you want.
It just don't stop.
I got, you want.
It just don't stop.

The road I walk is paved in gold
To glorify my platinum soul.
I am the closest thing to God,
So worship me, and never stop.

The wretched blood runs through my veins.
I gave up everything for fame.
I am the lie that you adore.
Now feed the rich—fuck the poor!

I got, you want.
It just don't stop.
I got, you want.
It just don't stop.

Am I turning you on?
'Cause now I'm turning down.
Am I turning you on?
'Cause now I'm turning down.
Am I turning you on?
I'm tuning you out.
Am I turning you on?
'Cause now I'm turning down.

Dear future: I bought you.
I own the right to let go,
Destroy you.
This is my life.

Dear future: I bought you.
I own the right to let go,
Destroy you.
This is my life,
And I...

I got, you want.
It just don't stop.
I got, you want.
It just don't stop.

I got, you want.
It just don't stop.
I got, you want.
It just don't stop.



There we go: "Don't Stop" by InnerPartySystem.
No, I cannot stop listening to this song. It's too sexy, as vulgar as its meaning really is.
Ily Kerrington. :3

- - - - - >

◊ two;

My mother just made me giggle somewhere on the inside.



"Do not marry a lazy person. That is my advice to you.
Do not marry a lazy person when you pick a spouse."



She filled me in as to why she said that afterward, because I was confused at first. I'm not going to concern myself with their matters, though.

I don't know why I found that amusing.

I think my family is starting to suffer from something like cabin fever.
It isn't so surprising, if that's the case.

- - - - - >

◊ three;

One of my spacers came loose this morning. :|
Mother and I decided it's no big deal, since I'm getting braces Tuesday morning anyway. I don't think the orthodontists would do anything about it by now anyway.

It feels so nice not to have at least one rubber band in my teeth. ||D; Ahahaha.

Now to face the braces...

- - - - - >

◊ four;

This is probably irrelevant, but I'm still working on organizing this thing, okay? :D;;

-- one.

mood: Mellow. A little tired. Lonely.
listening to: Chris's Kingdom Hearts music.
reading: My IM with Tai.
watching: The time.
playing: Nothing.
eating: Nothing. I'm not hungry, and after my gums started bleeding while eating Rice Krispies earlier, food probably isn't a good idea right now, anyway.
drinking: Nothing.

- - - - - >

◊ one;

Yes. I decided to start writing in a separate, new blog.
My nitpicky OCD wouldn't let me continue to update on the other one, simply because I found it too disorganized.
I seem to have an annoying habit of making several fresh starts on sites like these, just to get me motivated to do something on them again. It's weird, I know, and did I also mention annoying?

So, if you want to keep up, I suggest coming to SSfraulein.blogspot.com from now on.
Donke.

- - - - - >

◊ two;

I suppose it's now official that, in some way or another, I am depressed.
All I can say is that I'm going to try and get through it. That's all I can do anymore.
Just like this whole Texas thing.



Karma is such a bitch.



- - - - - >

◊ three;

Friday, my dear Kerrington came to multimedia and introduced a new song and band to me: "Don't Stop" by InnerPartySystem. I'm not a fan of the song's meaning, but it is very catchy and I've always been a sucker for laser keyboards and dance rhythms.
I was going to look up the lyrics for it and put them up here, but it seems to me that nobody knows the actual lyrics, and there are several different versions of it posted on the Internet. So I guess that idea is moot, hm?
I suppose you can look it up on youtube or something and listen to it.

Hmm.
I like Kerrington. She's nice, very sweet.
She has a calming voice, too. x3 It does help me to calm down after five periods of stress and chaos.
I find it funny that I always try not to talk so loudly around her, because... it's almost as though she'll break if I do. She's really quiet.
... That sounds really weird, but it's true.

As for a certain Hispanic brother of mine:
Get your ass back into town. We need to talk, ASAP.
I miss you, but I don't miss you enough to get happy with you.

- - - - - >

◊ four;

I forgot to mention that I got spacers last Monday. For the first three or four days, they were nothing but pain and soreness, to the max. They've lightened up considerably now, though.
Still, that doesn't mean I should be a moron and try to eat hard foods, like Rice Krispies. Even trying to chew on those carefully made my gums bleed, so I guess no more of that. Jip.


Nurse: It might feel like you have some food stuck in your teeth, but it's just the rubber bands.
Me: Hm. Interesting.
Nurse: So, how're you feeling now that they're in?
Me: LIKE I'VE GOT RUBBER BANDS STUCK IN MY TEETH. WHAT DO YOU THINK?


Duh, woman.

In all truths, it doesn't feel like there is food stuck in my teeth. Now that they've stopped hurting, I barely notice the rubber bands at all, even when I eat.

I have to get braces this upcoming Tuesday morning, too, after they take the spacers out.
I've pretty much learned not to believe the adults when they say braces won't hurt. I have plenty of other kids—guys, even—who've had braces, themselves, tell me that the braces will hurt for the first week or so.
It isn't the pain that I know is coming that bothers me. I've prepared myself for that, now that I've gotten honest opinions and stories about it. The fact that I'm getting braces at all is what bothers me. I don't really care if those things are beneficial to me. I was completely fine with my crooked teeth, but... well... I suppose that's in the past now.
...
Wow... That really made me sad.

Fuck braces.
Fuck my horrible hereditary dental issues.
Just fuck overall.

- - - - - >

◊ five;

Nothing much has happened lately—nothing good, anyway. So of course I don't report on this place much.

This Saturday went by too quickly, and I wasted through it by moping.
I was sort of productive, though. That's good, at least.
Ugh, she'll probably drag us to church tomorrow. I absolutely loathe church, and how she tries to make us pay attention when it just bores the crap out of us. I hate religion in general.
Disgusting.

*sighs*
So much for getting some sleep tonight...